Compliments have much power. In fact, research has shown that compliments have a similar effect as money when it comes to performance. Let that sink in for a bit.
Compliments have the same or similar effect on performance as MONEY!
Various studies have shown that people who are authentically complimented and praised for their performance experience the following benefits:
Improved belief in their ability to succeed at the task at hand
Increased independence and feelings of control over their circumstances (basically, they feel empowered)
Boost in positive feelings
Provide motivation to accomplish tasks (it is seen as a reward, in the same way as money is)
Increases learning and consolidation of new skills
Basically, compliments help people in the immediate present, and they have lingering positive effects for the future. They empower your team and help them learn quicker.
So why are leaders not effectively using this method? Why are people not using compliments more often? Why are they not using compliments effectively and authentically? Authentically here is the key word.
An authentic compliment has value and impact. An inauthentic compliment has no value.
More so, if a compliment is perceived as inauthentic, the receiver will reject it, and is prone to rejecting any further compliments from the giver.
In Episode 211 of theSilReview, we dive into the art of giving authentic compliments that have lasting impact. We uncover how you can compliment your team and have them truly receive the compliment.
Before you watch the video (or listen to the audio), let's look at the definition of the word "compliment".
1. An expression of praise, commendation, or admiration;
2. a formal act or expression of civility, respect, or regard
A compliment is a message that you deliver by speaking or writing to another party. It is a message of respect, regard, praise, and admiration. It is a noble act. So approach it in a noble manner.
There are 3 basic steps for giving an authentic compliment.
1. Be Fully Present
When you are about to give the compliment, let them know that you are fully present and focused on them. Where are you looking when you're speaking to them? What message is your body language saying? Are you fidgeting with your phone? Let your team member know that you are fully present in the moment.
2. Be Specific
Be very specific on what you are complimenting them on. Identify the action they did. Don't default to the general "Great job in the meeting today". Instead, say something specific such as, "You brought up an insightful approach to our solution, thank you for speaking up".
3. Explain Why It Is Significant
Let them know why you appreciate their action. What impact did that action have on you, the client, the team, etc...
These three steps combined will enable you to give compliments that are noble, authentic, and are received. And that is the most important part. If you want your team to experience the benefits of authentic compliments, they need to RECEIVE those compliments. And these three steps will help you give compliments that are more likely to be received and accepted.
Watch/listen to the video below to get the full details. Happy Complimenting!